Last time we saw our heroes (you’ll have to forgive me–I’m watching a superhero cartoon with my children as I type this), Jeremiah had just told Adrienne that he felt that spanking wives was wrong even in play because “it could lead to abuse.”
Wait. What?! Adrienne was seriously confused by the end of that conversation.
Ok, I’ll stop talking about myself in third person now . . . 🙂
As I’ve considered things today, I think the conversations last night were actually connected. (For a recap, see Part I.)
My husband has worked hard over the years (before I knew him) to curb his fiery temper. He’s told me stories of times that he has gotten so angry that he has punched a total stranger. I have never, ever seen that side of him.
I am now wondering if, because of my repeated offense, Jeremiah was so angry last night that he stuffed his temper as he has taught himself to do, thereby keeping himself from losing control. And his comment about not spanking me because it could lead to abuse was his way of telling me that he felt that if he allowed himself to “hit” me, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. His anger, if expressed physically, could literally lead to his abusing me.
I appreciate so much that Jeremiah was unwilling to put me in danger due to his own perceived limitations. I don’t truly believe that he could ever abuse me, but as I said, I’ve never seen that side of him. I trust him to protect me. Maybe that’s what that whole evening of confusing conversation was about.
It boiled down to “I’m angry enough to give you the spanking of your life, and you deserve it, but in order to protect you, I refuse to give it to you, in case I lose control and really hurt you.”
And isn’t that what DD is all about? Our husbands making decisions in our best interests whether or not we agree with them (or understand them). So, I don’t know how to thank him, or make this up to him, but I do appreciate him. More today than ever before.