J. and I had a long talk last night. I asked him to read “An Offense and Second Thoughts part II.” Then I asked him if I’d gotten it right. He said, “Pretty much.”
I reiterated my desire for DD, but I told him that I wouldn’t bring it up to him again. The decision is his.
As for my offense, J has personal experience with participating in (a permutation of) “it.” He knows the problems it caused him, and he doesn’t want me to go down that road.
I apologized all over again. We talked about how he has kicked the habit, and he told me he would do whatever he could to help me kick the habit as well.
I think the biggest thing that will deter me from doing it again is all the drama it has caused this time around. I hate hurting Jeremiah. I hate feeling like my selfishness brought a problem into our marriage.
By the time the conversation was over, he had forgiven me, I had renewed my commitment to keep our bargain, and we were in each other’s arms having HOT make-up sex. Sigh. All is right with my world.
I won’t be doing “it” again!

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My marriage is too important.

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