F
F is for Finding Our Way.
If you have kept up with Jeremiah’s and my journey thus far, you know that we had been experimenting with D/s, spanking, and new techniques in the bedroom. Last month, Jeremiah called a halt to all non-vanilla activities. I was very disappointed.
Then, today, out of the blue, Jeremiah pulled the Dom/Hoh card out of his back pocket for a moment:
I had stayed up extremely late last night reading on my phone. (For me, reading into the wee hours is a lifelong indulgence–or bad habit, depending on how you look at it! I love that peaceful time when no one is stirring, and I can read totally undisturbed. Anyway, back to our story.)
This morning, I was dragging. Everyone else was out of bed before I deigned to open my eyes. Once I joined the land of the living, getting around and getting some caffeine, Jeremiah asked why I had stayed up so late last night. Before I could answer, he said, “Reading on your phone?” I nodded.
“I think your phone needs to stay out here when we go to bed. You get after the kids about too much screen time, and then you go and do it.”
Immediately I knew I wanted to honor his request and encourage this dominant behavior. I said, “I think you’re right. I’m sorry I was reading so much last night.”
“I’m not worried about your reading, but I’m concerned for you because of the lack of sleep.”
I grinned and hugged him. “Thank you for being concerned about me and helping me set limits to keep me safe. I won’t do it again.”
Jeremiah kept his Dom card handy for our roll in the hay a few hours later (which included an appearance by Rosy!). All of it was lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed the love making, and I truly do intend to charge my phone in the kitchen overnight from now on. It won’t be easy. I swear my phone is super glued to my hand most of the time. I’m addicted. Going to sleep without reading at all on my phone won’t be ideal, but it’s a worthwhile exchange for more confidence and dominance from my man.
I had given up on having anything but vanilla in our little world. Maybe there is a glimmer of hope for a life of chocolate swirl!
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Classical Marriage in a Modern World 
Choclate swilr is just fine a lot of the time. Ttwd sure is better than DD. We are not into rules and ttwd is the perfect match for both of us. I think DD can be harsh and we do not use the word punishment ever. We are adults. I am a spanked wife, but the swirl is who we are. i like that analogy.
Meredith
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Should proofread better!
Chocolate!!!!!!!
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Meredith,
Thanks so much for coming by and commenting! When J and I first talked about getting started, I hadn’t realized that TTWD was different from DD. The more I read blogs like yours, Ronnie’s, Ami’s, etc., I’m starting to understand the difference. I think TTWD would be perfectly fine by me. We’ll see whether Jeremiah decides to “go there.”
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Good to hear.
He is right by the way.
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Thanks for dropping by. 🙂 I know he’s right about my phone. I just have little self control in that area…mostly because I don’t WANT to change the habit, kwim?
I am so thankful that we seem to be “finding our way” back to center. The distance between us the last few weeks has been hurtful on both sides, but we have discussed the problem and we are both trying harder to value and respect the other.
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Negotiating the alphabet soup of alternative lifestyles can be confusing at first. I too was initially attracted to Domestic Discipline (my screen name keyed off of that– Desiring Discipline), because many of the blogs I first encountered were DD, AND Christian. The wives swooned over being disciplined by their husbands, and the sense of peace. I wanted the same.
Now nearly 3 years later, I’ve learned the whole continuum of expressions of what I’d call “traditional marriage.” Everyone has to find what works best for them, but the underlying theme, IMHO, is the respect and love for one another. I can completely understand that most educated men do not want to feel like they are forcing such respect from their spouse through physical discipline. It goes against the grain of what most of us have been raised with, and seems violent and brutish.
However, expressions of intimacy that may involve various types of play involving harsher touch, impact, and even physical pain, are part of the large repertoire that exists for all safe, sane and consenting adults. TTWD is very personal and one size does NOT fit all. SK likes feathery, soft, teasing touches, and I give him that. He dislikes when I nibble on his neck with my teeth (whereas I’d adore that). I on the other hand love all touch, but find most arousing impact, spanking, and some elements of BDSM.
You will arrive at the mid-point that satisfies you both in this TTWD, and it’ll constantly morph, change and refine to suit YOU BOTH. The bottom line is the respect and love for each other; J. has keyed into one of SK’s pet peeves for me– screen time too close to bedtime, in my case it could be computer or Kindle. I’m still trying to read through a book recommended to me called Lights Out, but most research out there has indicated any artificial light, and especially from monitors and screens, severely impacts sleep. Trust me, there will be a time in their teens when you will want that phone closer by you at night… so for now, put it up and concentrate on the restorative sleep you desperately need as a mom of little ones.
And yes, take cheer in his leadership on this… and congrats on a satisfying interlude afterwards!
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