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I am a researcher. It is who I am. I used to love to read the encyclopedia just to learn new interesting facts…yes, a confirmed geek.

So, when I read marriage books, self-help books, how-to books, etc., I rely on statistics to help me know what is the best course of action. I find it frustrating when I (or my kids or my marriage) don’t fit the “majority” mindset.

I have started reading a book called Have a New Husband by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman.


As I am reading his advice to wives on how they can help their husbands and their marriages thrive, I keep thinking that Jeremiah and I don’t seem to fit the mold the author is using as his basis.

For example: sex. The author assumes that the husband is the more sexually needy spouse. At this point in our marriage, I am most definitely the higher need spouse. I know that toward the beginning of our marriage, J was the higher need spouse, though, so for us it’s kind of a fluid concept.

At any rate, I am hoping some of the concepts in this book will be helpful even though J and I don’t completely fit the stats. The author’s comments about respect and feeling needed, however, do seem “right on” regarding Jeremiah. I hope I can be a better companion for J so that our marriage will get stronger.