I’ve been really shaky inside for a few days over a difficult situation that will affect our family finances in a big way. I’ve had myself tied up in knots, and my attempts to talk with J about it have not gone well. But I didn’t know why. The situation was as much his issue as mine and I thought we were in it together, but he shut down when I brought it up. I felt like I was handling it alone, which only made me more emotional.
Tonight, thank God, we had a break through. I told him that I really needed help with the issues. This time he admitted that he felt the whole thing was his fault, and he thought I would have been better off had I never met him.
I was able to let him know that there’s no way I would be better off without him in my life and that the problem was as much (or more so) mine than his. I explained that his practical approach to life and problems keeps me grounded and that I rely on that practically to help me know how to tackle things one step at a time.
He’s my rock and he’s back to being exactly that. And I’m back to my happy place.