If you had asked my DH even a few months ago who was in charge in our house (and I wasn’t around), chances are he would have said that “Wifey” was and laughed it off as a joke. The truth of his answer, however, was poorly hidden in his joking demeanor.
I would have bristled at hearing his response. Being a Bible-believing person, I had always fully believed that a wife should submit to her husband. Over the years, I have tried to defer to my husband when he made final decisions, but often I was manipulative or passive-aggressive trying to get my way without actually seeming to “steamroll” him.
You see, I am an independent, capable woman with much education and a rather impressive resume. I have a very strong personality, very strong opinions, and very strong debate skills (aside from my aforementioned bad temper). We married later in life, so I had looked out for myself for over a decade before settling down. I was in a responsible, professional position, owned my own home, and was generally master of my own life. After we were married, things didn’t change much in terms of my mindset.
Was it realistic to think that this controlling, capable, I-can-do-it-myself woman could be the submissive partner in a D/s relationship?